How Confidence Can Help You Start AND Finish a Dream Project
After years of a loving (or perhaps obsessive) relationship with my dear perfectionism, I decided it was time to break up.
Most people take pride in their treasured perfection. I’ve even seen it in résumés as a ‘skill’ put forth to be respected by employers. But don’t let the sweet lullaby of its 5 syllables fool you. Perfectionism, as Elizabeth Gilbert asserts in Big Magic, is nothing more nor less than fear with high heels.
Even wearing Christian Louboutin’s, disguised as a fanciful and sophisticated icon, fear will never take you to the finish line of any project.
I believe that all projects come to life through the following 4 steps: dreaming, planning, resource gathering, and executing. Whether you want to renovate your house or start the business you’ve always envisioned, if your aim is to follow through, these steps are inescapable.
Not only do new projects require a specific process to enter the world, but they also take vulnerability and uncertainty to an unknown level. For us, these feelings are often petrifying. Masking the dreadful forces of embarking on a new voyage with our plans is a common habit in our culture, because these façades are socially accepted as perfectionism.
So how does confidence come to the rescue?
If we choose to stay in a relationship with perfection- we usually aren't able to surpass step two- planning. Under a perfectionist's regime, the planning stage can become hellish and never ending. This is mainly because you’ll have this unsupportive and abusive partner repeatedly proclaiming ‘you and your work are not good enough, keep trying!”. After ample self-bullying, these fears will transform into beliefs, beginning a vicious cycle of always dreaming yet never starting.
Even when we know our relationship with a habit is detrimental, breaking up with it is still not easy. However, it's important to recognize that this will be fully necessary for our personal growth as well as the development of our dream project.
Kick out your inner perfectionist partner and allow a new ally to be the force of your desire. Let confidence push you through the spilled paint during your creative process. Allow it to guide you through the stuttering presentations and less-than-successful business meetings.
Because at the end of the day, an imperfect finished task is better than a perfectly nonexistent one.
Your confidence wants you to comprehend the perfection of imperfection. Its job is to remind you of your capability to push through insecurities and emerge feeling worthy regardless of any outcome.
Confidence is here to help you believe in yourself and the power of your dreams.
You say "I’ll fall"; confidence declares "you’ll get back up’.
You say "I can’t"; confidence replies "you will".
You say "It’s hard"; confidence retorts "it's possible".
It craves this kind of deep connection with you. It wants to be your companion. It wants to prove you wrong, because is its prideful duty.
With the right support, this type of relationship with confidence is not only possible, but achievable. This is coming from a woman who believed perfection to be all there is, and confidence an unreachable dream. But today I see perfectionism as nothing but a hindrance, and know that confidence is truly here to fulfill your dreams- from beginning to end.